FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
