Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
