just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
