So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
