Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
