I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
