apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
