I think I am morally bankrupt
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
