Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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