That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
