The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
