I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
