No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
