We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
