So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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