So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
