i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize