I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
