But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
