I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize