It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
