you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize