She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
