Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
