with your own penis?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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