So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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