I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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