I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
