im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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