put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
