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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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