I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
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