I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
