This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
