At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
