Already got asked if we're dating
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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