susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
