I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I want a musical about memes.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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