yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I fill condoms, not promises.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
