Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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