I cockslap morals
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
