Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
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