i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
