Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
