Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
dude i'm inner monologue high
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
