it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
