Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
