Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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