Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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