spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize