remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
