There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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