Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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