So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize