Me too!
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
