omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
