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ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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