I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
