Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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