Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
